Could there actually be a similarity between children being accepted for placement in a Private School and dog owners scoring a prized spot for their pet in a local Doggie Day Care?  Brace yourself people…word has it that Doggie Day Cares now spend anywhere up to three hours interviewing the pet owners and their dogs as they move them through a thorough screening process.  That’s right, you don’t just drop your pet off and pay the fee, you first have to be accepted as a client of whom they choose to grant entrance. Apparently it isn’t enough to pay for a service. No, you and your pet must meet the admittance criteria to qualify for a placement in a quality institution. As a retired public school principal who enrolled several students over the years from the private school system, I am thoroughly aware of the comprehensive screening that prospective families, willing to pay the tuition, put themselves and their children through.  Can you imagine how deflating and discouraging that must be for a child with specific learning differences to be rejected? And what of a pet owner who thinks his or her pet is the absolute best?

To think that placement for a house pet could be so demanding makes one question what the criteria might be for admittance so that you, as a pet owner, can breathe a sigh of relief that your dog is one of the chosen. Of course you would be only too happy to pay for the elitist puppy care.

I had a few chuckles to myself as I pondered the possible interview questions that might be presented. I could just picture the Puppy Day Care proprietor with her/his highlighter poised ready to record the antagonized hopeful’s results.

Screener- Accurate Descriptors of Pet’s Behaviors (and Pet Owner Behaviours):

1. The overall appearance of the dog (and owner, perhaps) is:

Not Groomed                        Somewhat Groomed

Groomed                                Immaculately Groomed

2. The dog’s coat (and owner’s hair)  is:

Home Cut        Scraggly/In Need of a Clean-up        Budget Cut        Spa Cut

3. The dog’s dental hygiene (and owner’s) is:

Foul         Somewhat Smelly        Normal        Whitening Evident

4.  The dog ‘s bowel movements:

Irregular                                      Somewhat Anticipated

Regular Most Times                   Regulated like Clockwork

5. The dog is house trained:

Not House Broken                       Constant Accidents

Occasional Accidents                  Never has Accidents

6.  The dog has manners during meals:

Dives at the Food Dish

Tries to Eat Other Dog’s Food

Continues Licking Bowl when Food is Gone

Waits for an Invite to Dine

7. The dog has good eating habits:

Eats Junk Food                                                  Eats Anything Within Reach

Eats Twice a Day (ordinary Dog Food)             Eats ONLY Gourmet

8.  The dog is sociable with other humans:

Growls and Bites Humans          Barks & Jumps Up on Humans

Constantly Yappy                        Has Control

9. The dog is sociable with other dogs:

Aggressive & Wants to Fight                      Growls and Nips

Barks & Runs Circles Around Others         Relaxed & Friendly

10.  The dog (and Pet Owner) is fit:

Lethargic & Overweight

Moves from One Doggie Bed to Another

Walks Outdoors for Bathroom Breaks

Walks and Runs Daily

11. The dog owner is a HMPO (High Maintenance Pet Owner):

HMPO (extremely demanding)                     Neurotic and Anxious

Somewhat Needy                                         Confident and Relaxed

12.  The dog owner as a communicator:

Remote Video Camera Surveillance

Requires a Minimum of 3 Phone Updates / Day

Checks in Over His/Her Lunch Break (in person or by phone)

Communicates with Staff at Drop-Off and Pick-Up

You get my drift….it’s kind of amusing, don’t you think?